This post was inspired by this quote “You can write all the books you want to, but until someone is willing to read it, it’s not going to do that person any good. It may do you good, and it may do others good. But it’s not going to help the person that’s not ready to look over the edge of his box. And when they are ready to look over the edge, anything will help.”

The Inspiration

The quote above was pulled from The Convoluted Universe by Dolores Cannon. In this particular chapter, they were talking about people receiving the information that Dolores was sharing via her books. She felt the information she was learning in the metaphysical world needed to be shared with the masses so everyone could have the same kind of revelations and awakenings as her. She considered the information to be life-changing, and I completely agree with her.

When I discovered who she was and the information she was spreading, I had never encountered information that resonated so deeply with me. Everything made sense to me, and I knew that, for my personal journey through life, I was supposed to have that awareness. Since I’ve discovered her books, my life changed drastically, but for the better.

I remember who I was before I journeyed down the path of my spiritual awakening, and let’s say I cringe every chance I get. At that point, I thought I knew everything and could not see that I was heading down the wrong path at full speed with my eyes GLUED shut. Anyone who tried to give me advice frustrated me to the point where all advice was ignored and not received. If I could not understand it or see that something was wrong, I would 1000% reject it with every fiber in my being. Anytime anyone gave me advice that I did not ask for, I made sure to avoid that at all costs.

Rejecting Advice

Rejecting advice, solicited or unsolicited, was a defense mechanism for me. In my 20s, I knew everything, I had life figured out, and I had something to prove to everyone around me. Mistakes did not exist because I did everything right or “better.” How could someone give me advice on my life when I want my life to be a certain way? The only examples of life that I wanted could be found in movies. So I felt like no one had anything to say that was worth hearing. Boy, was I wrong.

I did not receive advice from anyone that helped me conclude that I was wrong about everything. Life experiences brought that clarity to me. When I think back, the genuine people who were trying to help me probably could have brought some clarity to me, but I don’t think it would have ever been received in the way that it was intended. My new philosophy on receiving advice is that I don’t think anyone on Earth is qualified enough to advise anyone. It seems like an impossible task because there are so many details that you may not know about. Depending on the contents of the story, do you really think someone will provide the full story to you?

If someone asks you for advice, I don’t think it should be given traditionally, but more so in a way where you guide them to figure it out on their own. Can you imagine if you gave someone advice from your perspective and then they followed that advice down to the T, and then everything went horribly wrong for them? You would feel guilty. That is my current thought process when it comes to receiving advice.

When you are in your 20s, experiencing/experienced trauma, or going through a tough time, it is so easy to seek out others for advice. They appear to be in a better situation than you are. You want to be saved. But the only person who will save you is you. And the only person you should want to save you is you. You will always have your best interests at heart. In the end, you will feel better that you pulled yourself out of the mud, and it will elevate your spirit in the end. That should be the ultimate end goal for all of us.

Don’t be “The Giver” of Unsolicited Advice

Let’s shift gears to the people who allow their ego to run their lives and give out unsolicited advice. And if you do not know the definition of that, it is basically someone who gives you advice without you asking for it. I see this happening in cases where someone is crying or super emotional. A person or friend approaches them, asking what’s wrong, and suddenly, the other person is giving out solutions without asking if that is what the person wanted. Although the act of giving advice was probably done with good intent, it could be received as the exact opposite.

Sometimes we just need to vent and get those problems fleshed out of our system. We need a release of those human feelings because while we are purging them out of our system, we could find the perfect solution during that process. We have been equipped, as humans, to figure out everything that comes our way. If you believe in the theory that we design our own lives, then we really don’t need external advice and instead sit with ourselves to try to resolve the issue.

I remember being at the receiving end of unsolicited advice and immediately checking out because the solutions that were being offered made no sense to the depth of my problems. The only thing that I wanted was a person to vent to, a sounding board, if you will. I’ve also been on the other side of the issue of giving unsolicited advice, and immediately sensed the irritation of the other person. And also felt icky at the end because I realized in that moment I made it about myself. The ego is embarrassing.

Final Thoughts

No matter where you are on the stance of advice, the only thing we can do is to do what is best for yourself. You can still be a good friend or family member by just listening. Sometimes all we need is just the presence of someone for comfort. One of my favorite things to do is sit in silence with close friends/family because just feeling their energy is comforting. It feels less lonely. All things can be said (or felt) without vocals being used.

If you made it this far, thank you for taking the time to read this post, and please like, comment, and share if it has resonated with you.