Phases Of The Awakening (In Order)

• The False Reality
• Awareness
• Denial
• Extreme Loss
• Detachment
• TBD
• TBD

“A spiritual awakening is a profound shift in consciousness, moving from a narrow, ego-based existence to a broader awareness of one’s true nature, often involving a deconstruction of old beliefs.”

The past 4 or 5 years, I have been going through a significant amount of changes that have been life-altering and sometimes debilitating. Now that the dust has finally settled, I can start to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I didn’t know how to describe the experience while I was in the thick of it, but now that everything has settled, the name for it is “A Spiritual Awakening.”

Spiritual Awakening Defined (In my own words)

I provided the official definition above, but in my own words, I would describe it as uncomfortable experiences that are necessary for the evolution of your spirit. The only way to truly understand something is to place yourself in the scenario or “in the shoes.” To have an awakening, you have to be placed in a reality that is so warped and nowhere near the truth, so you can break free from it. The question that I remind myself during rough experiences is, “How will I know I don’t want this if I don’t experience it?”

If you are always in a ‘perfect’ reality, how will your growth happen? How can you choose to be great if you never had the option to be anything less? How do you know you are a good person if you never had a bad choice as an option? When you can genuinely understand and then answer these questions, then you will know why you are human, why you came to earth, and why you have the life that you do.

Phases of The Awakening

It was very hard for me to think of how I could describe each phase of my spiritual journey. I had to take a step back and reflect on the biggest events that happened, and then analyze what lessons could be learned in the moments after the drama was over. Even after analyzing, I was not settled with the final answer, but I think it will be enough for anyone to understand and resonate with.

False Reality

This is the first stage of my awakening, and when I started to become aware of “the world.” I was fresh out of conditioning, I mean, high school, and I was figuring out what I was going to do with my life. I had already been pre-conditioned to go to college, but didn’t have the right resources or support around me that prepared me for that route. I applied for one college, did not get in, and then went on to community college. In which I did not graduate. I realized that I had to figure out another way, so I started taking on jobs and elevating each role after a departure.

I managed to do really well and landed somewhere pretty nice, and was able to purchase my first home at 24. I was proud despite the challenges I faced. Once I started living in my house, I was still not feeling settled or genuinely happy. I had been creating new boxes and checking them off, but I could not figure out why I was unhappy. Fast forward a few years, and a baby, I realized that I was living in a false reality of someone else’s dreams and visions for what life should look like. Becoming a mother is what saved me. It also opened my eyes to the fact that I have to be an example for the person I created. I realized that I had to want better for myself so my daughter will know what self-love looks like at a young age.

This phase was not an easy one to leave because it is so hard to leave the comfort zone you created for yourself. It was a false comfort zone. Nothing about it was safe when I was internally suffering. I created a space that still had roots in unresolved trauma; none of it was what I wanted for myself, but what I thought people wanted to see me accomplish. I was constantly seeking external validation from people who did not care. I can’t remember the exact moment, but there was an awareness that everyone around was out for themselves with their own ulterior motives. It was now time to stop prioritizing everyone around me and focus on my daughter.

Awareness

Coming into awareness of what is really going on around you is similar to becoming conscious that you are alive. You start to observe everything and everyone for exactly what they are projecting into the world. Love and potential are no longer clouding your vision; all you see is what is being shown. Shame starts to overtake you, growing stronger each day. It feels like your whole world is being ripped apart because how did you not see the signs? Just when you think shame is retreating to where it came from, sadness starts to approach you with a shy wave and half smile. Guilt is not too far behind either, watching and waiting for the right time to approach.

Denial

The more awareness you have of the situation you are in, the more waves of emotions you will experience. The strongest one I felt was denial, if that can be classified as an emotion. I did not want to face the reality I was observing because it was all my own doing. There was no one else to blame but me, and I was so hard on myself. Coming to the realization of all the bad qualities in yourself felt like the equivalent of walking through a supermarket with no clothes on.

Being in denial eventually turned into anger. Anger was the fuel that I needed to make the conscious decision to rebuild my life. I lingered in anger for a while until it started to manifest negatively in my life. Then I realized it was time to exchange anger for calmness. Nothing good comes from low vibrations, so I attempted to make the best of where I was until it was time to make the next move.

Extreme Loss

The funny thing about life, God, and the universe is that they give you no warnings. Just when I thought I was *safe*, BOOM, the next phase of my awakening had started. I was laid off from my job 1 month before my 5th anniversary. I was in shock, to say the least. Things were calm for a bit until it wasn’t. The next loss was a 2-for-1 special: the relationship I was in and moving back home to Virginia. The place I was so desperately trying to get away from. I felt like I was getting hit in the gut back to back.

Just when I thought it couldn’t get any worse, it did, and now I was in the lowest and darkest place I never thought I could exist in. Luckily, I had great friends and family to support me through that time, but that eventually came with challenges. Moving back was so humbling because I then realized that I had taken for granted the life I worked hard to get, even if it was a false reality.

I started back working and rebuilding my life slowly but intentionally. After the emotions had subsided, I started to observe the situation I was in and confronted the remaining sprinkles of trauma that were lingering in the back of my mind. This was hard because although I did not lose anything physically ( Thank God lol), I started to internally lose the relationships around me. I chose the word internally because I knew deep in my heart that they would eventually start fading, simply because they no longer aligned or were just time and heading in different directions.

It’s safe to assume I was over this phase of my awakening because I was battling emotions left and right, and there was nothing I couldn’t escape. It felt like everything was locked into a room with me just staring at me waiting for me to acknowledge and confront it.

Detachment

The current phase I am in and have finally felt relief in is detachment. I don’t think this is the final stage because I am only 31 with a whole lot of life in me, but I can confidently say this phase has been the most comfortable. Everything has been calm, balanced, and blissfully peaceful.

I’ve fully grasped the concept of me being an observer of everything and that I am a spirit first and human second. I’m just an observer on a mission to evolve my soul. Everything is a real experience, but not the final destination. To put it simply, we are all paid actors on a journey back to the source. Everyone who comes into my awareness has a purpose or season to help me evolve. Any experience they give me helps me grow, and with that, I fully understand unconditional love. If someone gives me an experience that teaches me something, I will forever be grateful for the experience, good or bad. Everything holds a purpose.

I wrote an in-depth post on being detached while remaining human, but I will briefly say that being detached most healthily is something you have to actively work on in order to stay balanced. Although this reality is an illusion, it is still an experience we all need to consciously participate in. When you ignore all the negative stuff, Earth is pretty cool.

In this phase, I am doing a lot of shedding of anything that doesn’t serve a purpose in my new life. Being detached allows me to objectively evaluate everything in my life. Everything has to be intentionally placed around me. I know what it feels like to live an unintentional life, and I can never let that happen again.

Final Thoughts

No matter what type of journey you are on or what phase you are in, the number one thing you should do is love and prioritize yourself before anyone else. Don’t settle for anything less than you deserve. Be intentional with every part of your life; there’s no such thing as too much detail. And last but certainly not least, have fun!!