Introduction

In today’s world of dating apps, hookups, situationships, and fleeting connections, the idea of revisiting a past relationship can feel both tempting and taboo. When a relationship had potential but never quite amounted to anything, it’s natural to wonder: Should I circle back?

In conversations about deep connections, two phrases often arise—karmic ties and soul ties—to define the bonds that feel significant and unshakable. But in an era that champions self-love, prioritizing peace, and refusing to settle, doubling back on a failed relationship is often frowned upon. As the saying goes, “everything happens for a reason,” and sometimes, that reason is a lesson meant to guide us forward, not pull us back.

This article explores the concepts of karmic and soul ties, how to identify them, and whether revisiting a past relationship is worth the emotional and spiritual energy.

What Makes Relationships “Failed?”

Failed relationships happen for all kinds of reasons. Careers, differing political views, immaturity, unfaithfulness, and lack of emotional intelligence are just a few. It seems like we were all taught to jump into relationships before we even got to know ourselves, travel, experience the ups and downs of life, or discover why we’re here on Earth in the first place.

When you skip these essential steps and rush into love, failure is practically waiting for you at the finish line. Picture young women and men sprinting toward love with untied shoelaces, unaware of the inevitable trip and fall ahead.

Take, for example, the story of a 21-year-old girl chasing what she thought was true love. She was certain she’d spend her life with this man—until one day, he ended it because she went to a Christmas party wearing makeup. Yes, makeup. She was so desperate to hold onto the relationship that she overlooked every red flag. The worst of which? Every time she did something positive for herself, it triggered an argument. Yikes.

Sometimes, relationships fail for less dramatic reasons, like a career change early on when the connection isn’t strong enough to compete. Other times, it’s baggage—emotional, unresolved, and unchecked at the gate. No matter the cause, big or small, one question looms: Can this relationship be salvaged?

Before you answer, consider this: Was the failure severe enough to end it for good?

Remember that 21-year-old girl? Well, the Christmas party fiasco wasn’t the end. That came later, when she burned a pizza. He decided that was his last straw. She had been on such a rollercoaster of a relationship that she forgot how to cook—but still tried. And instead of recognizing her effort, he walked away.

But their story didn’t end there. Despite ending the relationship, he crafted a plan to keep her emotionally tied to him. He dangled the possibility of reconciliation, using her genuine love to fulfill his emotional needs, while offering critique, uncertainty, and sadness in return. He gave her hope for years, but never commitment. And in her desperation, she settled for the title of “friend.” Or “situationship,” depending on the day.

Karmic and Soul Ties-Do They Influence Doubling Back?

Let’s start with Karmic Ties. These are intense, deep connections that often feel like they stem from past lives or unresolved issues in this one. Karmic ties are part of a cycle—spiritual lessons, debts, or energies carried forward from one experience to another.

On the other hand, Soul Ties are emotional, spiritual, or energetic bonds between two people. They don’t necessarily involve a lesson, but instead create a lasting connection, sometimes even beyond the physical relationship. These can form between romantic partners, friends, or even family.

Lisa—that’s what we’ll call our 21-year-old friend—latched onto the concept of soul ties. It fit her narrative and gave her a way to justify staying. But she only had a surface-level understanding. Once she found an explanation that didn’t make her feel foolish, she stopped digging deeper.

From the outside, though, her connection seemed more like a karmic tie. Her love for him was genuine and deep, but it blinded her to his severe shortcomings. The little love he showed her seemed like a reflection of her light, not his. He was incapable of creating that kind of love on his own, trapped in his own unresolved trauma.

Lisa kept the door open throughout her 20s, convinced they’d eventually have a fairytale ending. But he never chose her. Instead, he formed a relationship with another woman—who, oddly enough, shared her name. Everything Lisa had dreamed of for years, the other Lisa received effortlessly: gifts, trips, love.

And he told Lisa about it.

For reasons we can only guess, he wanted to maintain a “friendship” with Lisa while fully committing to the other Lisa. At one point, he even asked her to go Christmas shopping for his girlfriend. She agreed, but only if he told the girlfriend about their history. He declined, but they remained in contact.

That contact was limited to work hours—calls during his commute or lunch breaks. Once he was home, the calls ended. Whether he wasn’t fulfilled in his new relationship or simply enjoyed the power of having options, we’ll never know.

When Does Doubling Back Work?

In Lisa’s case, doubling back does not work. Not in this lifetime or the next two. Her situation was less about love and more about manipulation.

But doubling back can work when both people separate, grow, and become better versions of themselves. Imagine running into an ex years later, sparking a conversation, and discovering you’re both single and genuinely interested in reconnecting.

Cue a Hallmark movie.

You catch up over coffee, talk openly about what went wrong, and listen closely for any signs of deception. With clarity, boundaries, and honest emotions, it’s possible to see if circling back is worth the trip.

When Doubling Back Is A Bad Idea?

We will keep this short. Everything that Lisa experienced with her narcissist.

Deciding to Move Forward or Circle Back?

After receiving that dreaded “something told me to check on you” text from an ex, the first question you should ask is: Did this person ever respect me?

If the answer is no, don’t respond. Delete the message and move on. Silence is an answer, too.

But if the circumstances were less toxic, and the breakup stemmed from other issues, proceed with caution. Every situation is unique, and ultimately, you need to do what feels right for you.